I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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