True but thats because hes a fetus.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
