i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She is in my trunk
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just want nice things and good sex
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
