Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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