I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
FUCK WHALES
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