You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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