i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize