my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
