I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
