I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
