Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
