Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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