see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
