you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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