There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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