No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
