I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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