stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am available for nakedness
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
