Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
