Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just found puke in my bra..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
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