just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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