My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
