are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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