these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
