talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize