matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
