So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
