really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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