You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
