Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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