Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize