If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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