i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
