Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
