im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
