if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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