You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
