What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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