your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
