Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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