You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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