Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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