dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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