dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
