We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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