I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
