OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
