Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
