i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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