god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize