Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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