When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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