I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
