I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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