you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We got so high we made milksteak
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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