I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
