I'm eating all of the evidence.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
