WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize