Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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