Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
