elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
